Turning Dreams into Realities

Future pacing

I used to be a dreamer…

Head in the clouds, moonwalking through life. But for every dream I had I wasted a day in the real world.

It can be easy to get caught up in the day to day. Waking up and thinking how many minutes you can lie in bed before you have to get ready for work…

Watching the seconds tick away as you procrastinate until the end of the day.

But what about those future plans? When is the time for dreams?

Life doesn’t start at some indefinable point in the future, it doesn’t start tomorrow, it starts now.

This is an exercise designed to make those dreams of yours something tangible and achievable that you can start working on today.

It’s crammed full of NLP exercises, designed to motivate you and structure your thoughts to achieve your future goals.

It’s something you can do in a few minutes, but you can continue to use for years to come.

Whenever you’re feeling tired or de-motivated I want you to stop for a moment and perform this exercise. It only takes a couple of minutes, and once you get good at it, it will trigger automatically when you’re having doubts.

Resource anchoring.

I want you to imagine a moment in the future where you have everything you’ve ever wanted: absolute happiness…

I doesn’t have to be a complete vision of success, just a moment in time where you feel like you’re there. Like you’ve won.

Maybe it’s sitting in front of a cosy fire surrounded by your future family…

Maybe it’s walking into your dream home for the first time…

Maybe it’s standing on top of that mountain you’ve always dreamed of climbing…

Now step inside yourself and think about what you see, what you hear, what you feel.

Maybe it’s the warm touch of a lover, the feeling of elation as you watch the sun rise over the peaks, the pride of finally achieving your goal.

Close your eyes and take a moment to feel this, to live this…

 

How does it feel? Good right?

I want you to save this in your mind. The sights, the sounds, the emotions. This will be your light at the end of the tunnel, the thing that get’s you out of bed in the morning, that lifts you up when you fall…

This is your “Anchor.”

I want you to give it a name. Make it real. Use it like a resource, a trump card. For the sake of this article let’s call it “Absolute Happiness.” Because that’s what it really is.

Side Stepping

When you’re feeling demotivated I want you to close your eyes and perform this simple exercise.

See how it makes you feel now. Compare it to the state you were in a moment ago. Realise the “Trigger” that got you feeling the way you were.

Maybe it was something someone said that made you feel down, or something you saw, like looking at your bank statement.

When you get good at seeing the cues, it will trigger the thought of performing the anchor automatically.

If you want to take it further, you can take a deep breath and imagine side-stepping out of yourself.

Look down at your current self and think about what they look like. Think about how this state of mind will hinder them from achieving that goal.

Compare this to how you think being in the anchored state will help you to achieve your goal.

Shake your head at your other self and then step back inside and perform the Anchor.

 

Small chunks

Now I want you to image that this moment, Absolute Happiness, was going to be tomorrow.

How does that make you feel? Do you feel excited, nervous…prepared?

If you were to achieve your ultimate goal tomorrow, would you be ready for it?

Chances are, the answer is no.

Now can you see that your ultimate goal, absolute happiness, isn’t something that you can wave a magic wand and it will appear. It’s a process that you must build up to, that you must be prepared for, that you must achieve.

And how much better is achieving something than having it given to you?

This will help you bring that dream down to earth.

So let’s take a step back.

Now I want you to think about what it would take for you to be able to experience Absolute Happiness.

Perhaps in order to have the dream home you need a certain sum of money and financial security. If it’s the family you dream of, then perhaps you need to meet your future partner. And if you’re climbing the mountain, perhaps you first must have the physical or mental strength to achieve it.

So let’s make this the future goal. Because if you have this, you have the tools you need to experience the Absolute Happiness you named earlier.

Let’s call this “Readiness.”

Now I want you to think about how long it would take for you to achieve Readiness. If you started today that is, and put all your efforts into it. Just this one thing, nothing more.

Think about it…

 

Would it take 10 years? 2 years? 2 months?

Chances are, when you actually think about it, you could achieve this in a relatively short amount of time. Perhaps shorter than you’d previously thought.

Isn’t that amazing? To think that you could achieve Absolute Happiness in such a short period of time…if you started today.

So what would you need to do in order to achieve Readiness?

If you need a some of money and financial security, perhaps you would need to have a good job. If you needed to meet the partner of your dreams, then perhaps you would need the confidence to start and nurture a relationship. And if you needed the physical and mental strength to climb a mountain then perhaps you would need a personal trainer, or life coach.

So what would it take?

Let’s call this “The Vehicle.”

Think about what that Vehicle is for a moment…

 

So how long would it take for you to obtain The Vehicle?

What do you need to do in order to obtain The Vehicle?

Step back again, and again, and again, until you get to Today…

What do you need to do Today in order to achieve Absolute Happiness. Maybe it’s something as small as buying a book, hiring a life coach, or getting up an hour earlier.

Imagine if the road to achieving Absolute happiness started with something as simple as reading a book? Imagine that your road to Absolute happiness started toady?

Wouldn’t that be worth it?

Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

 

Life gates

To be able to think about something in this way is incredibly useful. To be able to say:

“In order to achieve (Absolute Happiness) I must first have (Readiness)…and in order to obtain (Readiness) I must first have (The Vehicle)…and in order to obtain The Vehicle I need to (insert action here) Today…”

These are your Life Gates.

So you see having an actionable plan with a time frame for achieving your life goals isn’t difficult. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes to plan your life.

And there’s nothing stopping you from doing this today.

You see in this way, you are motivated by this moment you named earlier, your Anchor, your Absolute Happiness, whilst at the same time you can see The Vehicle you need to obtain Readiness.

That intangible dream that used to float somewhere off in the future has now been brought down to earth. We have defined it, defined what you need to achieve it, and set an action plan that you can start today.

I want you to practice this every time you are feeling lost or de-motivated. Re-live your moment, Anchor those feelings to now, then break it down in to small chunks, and focus on what you can do Today to achieve it.

Identify your Triggers, use your Anchor, practice Side-Stepping.

If you can plan in this way, then you Will achieve your moment. You will achieve Absolute Happiness.

 

And so you see minutes don’t matter: Plan in years, live in days.

I used to be a dreamer…

Now I’m a doer.

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Take Back Time Part Eight: On The Precipice

So I travelled far and wide, all over the world: Africa, China, Europe, America, seeking out the most beautiful and desolate places on earth…

So I could ask them the question…

I walked naked through the Gobi desert alone, stood on mountaintops and sang to the peaks with not another soul as far as the eye could see…

Avalanches, lightning storms, hurricanes, all the most powerful and violent forms of nature…and the most beautiful…I saw them all…

And do you know what is there…?

Only what you take with you…

I did not find god or reach enlightenment, though I thought I came close…

I did not find some font of eternal youth, or some mythical wish granting fish…

I only found the self…not myself, I can already see some of you cringing at that statement, this is a far too overused phrase…

What I found was The Self

The Precipice

2 years into my travels I sit here staring out over a 1000ft drop down to a verdant jungle. This is one of the hundred secret places of Zhangjiajie, Hunnan province, China.

A towering sandstone obelisk sticks out of the ground in front of me, its base thinner than its top. And from a crack down its entire length, life spills out like a great wound…

I am all alone, and I am trying to overcome my fear by sitting on a precipice so thin and narrow I can’t even see stone beneath me…

At first the fear grips me and I cannot relax, my body tense, my breathing erratic. One false move and I could slip…

What if the rock breaks? What if the wind blows too strongly and I fall? What if I get dizzy and collapse? All these questions harrow me like crows circling around my head…

After what seems like an eternity, the fear slowly subsides, and at last I begin to relax…

The air moves around me every so softly, the warmth from the rising sun slowly bathes my body and the sound of absolutely nothing surrounds me…

As this feeling of relaxation spills over, I do the unthinkable: I fall asleep…

And in my sleep I have a dream…

The Dream

In this dream an ever changing figure traipses an endless plain of white. A shadow stretching on the ground without a body to create it, like a candle made of darkness…

Eventually the figure transforms into a white bird and flies off. The world becomes the scene in which I sit again and the white bird flies towards me and when it reaches me it becomes a winged horse and beckons me onto its back…

Suddenly I wake and realise that I had fallen asleep, that I’m sitting on a precipice and reaching out into the empty air in front of me, millimetres from death.

Fear strikes me in the heart once again, but it quickly fades and as I overcome it I smile deeply.

“I am here” I whisper “and I am not afraid.”

“I see you.” It says back.

Was this some kind of vision? A metaphor for my own life? A message from God? No. It was just a dream, and this is just a memory.

The Reason

You see I used to think I travelled the world looking for a place to call home.

Then I met someone I called the love of my life and thought that I had instead been looking for someone to share the whole world with.

But on that day I saw that, while both of those thoughts were true to me at the time, they were merely oversimplifications of a common truth.

And what is this truth you ask? Well, it is as different for me as it is for you.

Some people follow their favourite sports team religiously, some follow religion itself, some pour all their energy into their career, or family, or a noble cause such as justice or politics.

In truth, though people may appear to want very different things, they are all seeking the same thing:

Absolute happiness.

You can call this fulfilment, gratification, enlightenment, whatever you like…

The feeling is indescribably unique and yet universal to everyone.

So I ask myself: “I have none of these things. Does this make me lost?”

“While I may not have anything in particular to focus my attention on: no faith, no cause, no state; am I destitute?

On the contrary, in the last 2 years I have experienced happiness almost constantly and I know that because of my personality, I will always continue to do so.

I move from occupation to occupation, from place to place, I explore the world and experience great things, things others only dream of.

This is the life I have cultivated for myself, and as I sit here staring over this indescribable scene, I am beginning to realise this, or rather remember it.

You might call this a life of self-indulgence, and you may be right – by your standards – but what’s important to you is very different from what’s important to me.

I don’t care where I sleep, what tomorrow brings, or what troubles yesterday served, as long as I have this happiness, this freedom.

And I don’t judge others, or consider their lives less meaningful, or less fulfilling than my own. We barely understand ourselves, let alone those so different from us…

But all of this is essentially irrelevant.

I am happy in this life because, for the first time in my life…

I have the knowledge in my heart that when I die, I will become dust and nothing more.

Even if I leave behind a family, a legacy; within two generation my actions, no matter how great, will be forgotten.

Do you know the name of your great-grandmother? What did she do? I don’t.

This rock that I sit on was once a billion grains of sand, which were once a part of a billion other rocks, and in another billion years they will be sand once more.

We have been on this earth for such a short amount of time that we forget that the earth has barely noticed us at all.

We are but a breeze in eternity.

What does it matter what we do in our short lives? Who will it matter to a hundred, a thousand years from now?

We will be but dust and air…

If I were to pick up a stone and throw it from this cliff, would you miss it? So then, if I throw myself instead, will the world miss me?

I twist the stone in my fingers and ask it… “Are you afraid?”

It says nothing…

“Then why am I afraid?”

Six Seconds

“When you hit the ground you will smash into pieces, but those pieces will become a part of the forest floor, and one day they will become a part of this rock again…

“I will be long dead by then, but you’ll still be here…”

And what will have happened in between…?

I will have lived my life…and I will have died…and other people will have been born and died…

“So why am I afraid…?”

“I am afraid because I think that the end of my life is the end of everything.”

And why do you think this?

“Because I have been so afraid that I couldn’t let myself think about anything else.”

Why?

“Because I am afraid of living in fear…”

Why?

“I am afraid that this fear will stop me from truly living…”

Why?

“Because I want to live my life without fear!”

And How Will You Do This…?

I throw the stone over the edge of the precipice…

It is six seconds before the rock smashes into pieces and the echo of its existence travels up to my ears, and in that time I have overcome my fear of death…

“I will no longer be afraid, because I know that I am the same as the stone!”

I was once dust, and over millions of years this dust formed into the thing that is currently me

And when I die I will become dust again

And in millions of years this dust will once again form a person and they will be alive!

“I am an inseparable part of this universe…and the life of the universe is my life…and the universe is infinite…I am infinite…”

Six seconds…

Once I found out why I needed to rid myself of fear….it took me six seconds to figure out how

In Part 9…

So what did I do after I discovered the answer to my fundamental question…?

After I had learned the secret to finally conquering fear…?

Did I throw myself off the rock? No.

There’s an old Chinese proverb…

“Before enlightenment: chop wood, paint fence…

 After Enlightenment: chop wood, paint fence…”

Life, as it is, goes on…

In Part 9 I am going to tell you about The Great Separation, why people perceive themselves as separate from the rest of the universe.

Subscribe to find out how you can become one in Part Nine: The Great Separation.

Take Back Time, Part One: Death

Why are you here?

Hi, my Name’s Dean O’Shea and I’m going to teach you how to take back time.

Disclaimer…you won’t gain immortality from reading this. I’m not God, or the Devil. I’m not going to give you some pill for immortality in exchange for your soul.

But what this story will teach you, is how to let go of the fear and pain in your life so that you can finally start living the way you want to.

There’s a fundamental question that guides almost all of our actions, but there’s a fundamental fear that stops us from ever finding out what that question really is.

If we never find out what that question is, we can never truly understand why we are here, and if we do not know why, then we can never truly live.

I’m going to help you find out what that question is and show you how to conquer the fear that stands in your way.

Then, and only then, will you be able to live fully, forever.

If you are reading this it is probably because you have been searching for the answer to this question before. You may have followed other gurus, or travelled the world in search for answers, or even paid a therapist, or a hypnotist to pry them from your brain.

Don’t worry, I am not a therapist, this is not a journey with no end, and I’m not going to hypnotise you and then bill you at the end. All I want to do is show you the path I walked and help you walk it for yourself.

It can be scary to tread the path, or to uncover your fears. Most of us keep them buried our whole lives. But what you will discover is that once you truly understand what they are, and how to deal with them, you can conquer them with ease.

You may be suspicious as to what my motives are. In truth, I had lived my whole life in fear, and now that I have finally conquered it, I feel like it’s my moral obligation to help others to conquer theirs.

I believe that this journey has had more of a profound impact on my life than anything I’ve ever done, and that it is the most noble pursuit anyone can undertake.

I cannot tell you in words the feeling of joy and gratification letting go of my fears and embracing my life has given me. My friends, my family, my relationships, even my wealth has improved seven-fold from what it was before.

And you can experience those things too.

So sit back, relax, and let me tell you a story…

The Fear

When I was a child I used to be terrified of death.

I would lie awake at night and imagine what it would be like to experience nothingness, forever and ever.

I would panic that if I went to sleep I might never wake up again, that’s probably why I’m a bit of an insomniac.

I’m sure we’ve all felt it, that inescapable fear that keeps us awake at night…that follows us through life…and may still do to this day. But that’s why we are here right?

I remember one night, I must have been about 24, I couldn’t sleep and started having a panic attack. I started having convulsions, saying “No! No! No!” over and over again. I leapt out of bed, paced around, tried to distract myself, but I couldn’t.

It was as if death were knocking on my door right then!

In my desperation I picked up the phone and I called my ex-girlfriend. It was late at night and when she answered she was confused.

I asked her to do something I’ve never asked anyone to do before, or since.

I asked her just to talk, to not ask me why I was calling, or what it was about. I made her promise to never ask why I called her, or ever mention it again.

And we just talked about nothing. After half an hour or so I said thank you, I put down the phone and I went to sleep.

And we never spoke of it again.

Why did I do that? Why didn’t I tell her? She would have understood, maybe even been able to help.

I didn’t tell her because I was so afraid of death, it was the worst thing I could possibly imagine, and though I was destitute and had no-one else to turn to, to save me from my fear, I also couldn’t bring myself to infect another person with it.

It was like a disease.

And so I held on to it my entire life, without ever telling anyone I carried this horrible secret, this vile illness, festering inside of me, because I thought that if I ever told anyone, it might awaken inside of them and spread.

And now I am here, in front of all of you, sharing this terrible secret. Why?

Because I’ve finally found the cure…

In Part Two…

In Part Two I will tell you about the ladder that we’ve been led to believe is our lives, and why it is so important that we break away from it.

Subscribe to get email notifications and look out for Part Two: ‘The Invisible Ladder